Okay, so we got ants out here, see? Well, I recently moved a planter kinda thing that is open on top and bottom, and planted flowers in it. Well, not too long after that, I noticed ants in there. They had their little holes, and stuff, the way most average ants do. Well, what do you think of ants in the garden? Nuthin'! Quite common, what? Okay, sweetie, well dis is how it wuz! There they were! Goin' in an' outta their little holes in the groun', jus' as if dere wuz no tamarra! Wotalife! Dese guys don't even read the racing review, let alone the daily news! I never though nuthin' about it until one day.......

So, I pick up a 'ants' book at a sale. Little golden books, you know. What I learn, is that a flying female ant landed on my flower box shortly after I filled it with dirt, 'cause that's how new colonies are formed. So, I start feeding them. Differnt things, and such.

Well, today, I dropped a dollop of peanut butter near the main hole. A daub, say, the size of a pink pearl eraser that's about half used up. Well, this was cause for some energetic activity!

Them little critters had dirt strewn about in piles roundabout the nutty stuff. They were undermining it! Digging a hole for it to fall into! Now, after reading some of the ant book, I was curious to observe behaviour. The results were astounding! Some o' them ants are either retarded, or just plain goofoffs!

This one ant seemed to be aware of the fact that the general purpose seemed to have something to do with piling up dirt outside the hole. He wasn't clewed in, however, that the dirt to be piled up was supposed to come from INSIDE THE HOLE! So, he'd run over the hill (a clump of dirt big enough to keep an ant from seeing over it), nab a little dusty chink o' earth, run over and put it in the pile outside the hole, an' run back to get another'n. I was watchin' to see if any o' th'others'd smack 'im in the face and tell him to do something useful, but no, in the ant world, the village idiot is not corrected for inapproprite behaviour, at least, not while on the surface, where strangers could notice!

I began to worry about whether the ants could defend their peanut butter. I didn't want to see no flies on there! Well, I thought, mebbe if I could melt that peanut butter with a magnifying glass, it'd sink in more better. And I vowed never again to give ants so much peanut butter at once!

I went over to the 99cents and more store, a new place in the Kienow's lot, and they had some magnifiers. (Piece of crap!)
That's what the magnifier was, as far as magnification goes. It had about a twenty inch focal length, which still made it suitable for warming peanut butter. Wotchoo 'spec fer 99 cents?

With about a five inch objective lens, and about a one-half inch focus spot, at optimum, the heating effect was sufficient. It wasn't only possible to make the oil in the PB run, you could make it smoke, and turn black! And you know what? I think I gave the ants some kind of a volcanoe experience. Shoulda charged 'em for the thrill, but I know they're all broke. Anyway, they hightailed it when the smoke began. It was very interesting to look at the supports that were left, holding up the PB daub. An' of course, the little rascals are so industrious, they were right back at it before too long. So, my ants are my newest amusement device!